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When your ex invites you to bed

Discussion in 'Other' started by Alexandoy, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. Alexandoy Bacteria

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    This thread is related to my recent encounter with an ex. She was my former girlfriend but we had lost contact when she married and I also raised a family of my own. After 40 years, she found me on Facebook and I accepted her as a friend. The chat was casual at first until she started reminiscing. And then she invited me for a casual meeting, a lunch date. But since I had some apprehension, I avoided the topic. Later on, she was pointing towards a meeting in a motel or a hotel. That she would be the one to spend huh.

    What would you do if you are in my place?
     
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  2. KenBrace Bird Administrator

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    Well, it would depend on what kind of a person she was.

    Why did your original relationship not work out?

    Has she changed during your time separated? Perhaps the relationship will work out much better since you are both older and have (hopefully) learned a lot. I'm sure that you and her are both much different than you were 40 years ago.
     
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  3. jimbob Cat Moderator

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    I would hide as well as I could.
     
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  4. Believer Bacteria

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    It does not sound like she is actually wanting to re-kindle an old friendship in this case; but more like she just wants to prove to herself that she is still attractive to the opposite sex. To me, that is not a very good reason to renew the relationship with her, and especially if she is asking this knowing that you have a family and loving wife already.
    I don't see any problem with just being Facebook friends with someone that we used to know, or even date before; but if all she wants is a "feather in her cap" then that does not say much for her interest in you as a person.
     
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  5. KenBrace Bird Administrator

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    Wait, I totally missed that part in my original reponse.

    If you're already married, then...
     
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  6. ray Bacteria

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    I have two friends and have met them both in different countries where they have settled but never been invited for such a program. Incidentally both of them are unmarried but I am happily married with no intention of accepting any such invitation.
     
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  7. Decentlady Bacteria

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    Lol @KenBrace for the second respond. Well, I would say there is really no need to complicate your life at this age.

    Why would you want to live in fear and guilt? If your wife finds out it is just going to be a mess. Do you think it is worth it?
     
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  8. ray Bacteria

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    You remind me the incident when someone said to me, "You must online dating sites which are good way of passing time and my reply was that if my wife catches me at that she might open an account of her own pass her time as well". No thanks, I am not interested :0
     
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  9. Decentlady Bacteria

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    Lol this is true actually. If you ready to go through what you are putting your partner through then you might want to give it a try. However, in my opinion it is not worth the loss of mental peace and the heartache.
     
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  10. Jasmin Cottontail Molecule

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    This is a no-brainer for me. If ever my ex did this and would want to meet me, I would definitely say no, or I won't reply. I don't think my hubby would like it either, and even if let's say we won't do anything bad (my ex), I just don't feel comfortable going out with my ex because it will definitely hurt my other half's feelings, and I never want that to happen. And even if I'm single, I won't still talk to him, I will also consider his (my ex) wife and what would she feel if she know about it.
     
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  11. ray Bacteria

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    That's one of the reasons I never try to accept friendship offers coming from strangers too. Who knows that was my wife in the disguise of a lady just to test my integrity, no thank you :)
     
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  12. Holmes22 Atom

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    I cannot say that I have ever had this happen, and I am thankful too because I would surely mess something up there. I guess you never really know though, but it is interesting to think about.
     
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  13. tonyb Bacteria

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    I guess this will be a simple matter if I were to be invited by my ex to bed. Here is how it will go with me I will find out, that is if I'm not aware yet, if she is married or still single. If married I'd stay clear from her and her troubles no matter how amorous we were in the past. But if she is still single or divorced that's a different ballgame entirely.
     
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  14. Selena Bacteria

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    If you are married, I would say no....unless you want to ruin your marriage if your wife finds out.

    I'm single and I had an online affair with someone on another forum, he has a partner so I knew nothing would come of it...it was a totally waste of a year. I regret doing it.
     
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  15. ray Bacteria

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    Online affair is different from going to bed with someone even if they happen to be your ex. For me an ex is an ex married or unmarried because I am already married now and do not want to jeopardize my family life. I am happy with my current situation so why should I take a risk for one night's stand.
     
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